TRUE NORTH
Beyond Surface Truths to Forge Men of Purpose and Connection
As fathers, our deepest aspiration is to raise sons who not only seek truth but are equipped to engage with it in a way that forges their character and calls them to purposeful action. We envision men who understand that their journey isn’t just about individual discovery, but about bravely stepping into the unknown, contributing to a truth that strengthens and intertwines their communities. This is the path to raising courageous and resilient men.
Our world often presents a seemingly straightforward idea of truth: something is true if it matches up with an external reality, if we can point to the “facts.” This common-sense view has its place in everyday observations. But when we consider the profound calling of manhood – a call that often demands action before all is clear, a call to lead and connect – we must ask: Is this surface-level understanding of truth enough to guide our sons?
I believe it falls short. Particularly when we consider a vital aspect of a man’s journey: he makes his individualized self a sacrifice to the unknown so that we as communities can be more strongly intertwined. This isn’t about losing oneself, but about offering one’s experiences, actions, and even uncertainties as contributions to a larger, shared understanding. If truth is only about what is already “proven” or externally obvious, how does a young man find the courage for such a sacrifice? How does he learn to trust the inner compass that guides him into uncharted territory, not for his own sake alone, but for the sake of deeper connection and communal discovery?
An over-reliance on a narrow, fact-centric view of truth can leave a boy ill-equipped for this journey:
- The Call to Courageous Action: True manhood often requires stepping out with conviction when the “right course” hasn’t been empirically proven. It demands a reliance on an inner sense of what is true and right, a willingness to explore based on this guiding intuition. If we only teach our sons to wait for external validation, we may stifle the very pioneering spirit that allows them to contribute uniquely to the world and their communities.
- Forging an Identity Through Contribution: If identity is only about personal achievements or attributes that can be listed like facts, it remains fragile. But when a man understands his role as a contributor to a shared truth, his identity takes on a deeper, more resilient quality. It’s found not in isolated selfhood, but in the dynamic interplay of offering his witness and receiving the witness of others.
- Navigating Moral Landscapes: Values like courage, honor, and compassion are profound guiding truths. They are not simply “facts” to be observed, but commitments to be lived out, often in complex situations where the path isn’t clear. These deeper moral truths call for a different kind of knowing, one rooted in conviction and shared understanding.
- Embracing the Evolving Nature of Understanding: Life’s most significant truths—about purpose, meaning, and how to live well together—are rarely static or handed down as a complete package. They often emerge and deepen over time, through shared experiences, dialogue, and even the willingness to revise what was once held. A rigid, “just-the-facts” approach can hinder this essential openness to growth and evolving understanding.
Our sons need a framework for truth that honors this dynamic, relational, and often sacrificial journey of manhood. They need to understand that their actions, their willingness to engage even in uncertainty, are vital forms of testimony that contribute to a larger tapestry of truth.
This isn’t to say that reality or experience doesn’t matter. It is often the common ground where our testimonies meet and are tested. But the meaning and the truth that guide us emerge most powerfully through these shared interactions.
In an upcoming post, I’m excited to explore a more encompassing vision of truth – a “Relational Truth” – where understanding is not a solitary pursuit but emerges from the interplay of witnesses, is refined through shared experience and dialogue over time, and calls each of us to participate in its unfolding. It’s a way of seeing that, I believe, can better equip our sons to become the purposeful, connected, and courageous men they are meant to be.
For now, let us consider: How can we encourage our sons to see their own lives, their questions, and even their steps into the unknown as vital contributions to a truth that binds us together and helps us all find our way?